Stan Jensen
2005-11-04 20:05:45 UTC
Actor George Takei, who played Mr. Sulu on "Star Trek," came out of
the closet last week. That warrants a closer look at some Trek
memories...
Gay "Star Trek" Quotes (R-rated)
"Ensign Chekov, now *that's* what I call a 'svollen wessel.'"
"He's a stud, Jim."
"Khaaaaaaaaaan! Your shoes don't match your belt!"
"Look! Look at me! I'm so in love with the dancing green alien woman
that I'm jumping up and down on the captain's chair!!"
"Now *that's* what I call a photon torpedo!"
"Pass the K-Y -- I'm going in the Jeffries Tube."
"Stop lying to me! I can tell you've been with the Andorian --
your lips are blue!"
"Sulu, direct all power to the front deflector shields. We will engage
from the rear."
"Don't let Spock fool you... that V sign ain't just for saying, 'Howdy
do!'"
"I wouldn't mind a stardate with that captain's log."
"I've set my phaser to 'tingle.'"
"Mr. Sulu! Pucker factor seven!"
"That Khan can breach my lower deck anytime!"
"Whatever you do, don't tell the captain you're gay. He'll make you
wear that damn red shirt!"
"Why, Mr. Chekov, I don't believe that *is* a phaser in your pocket!"
"You know, Chekov, I don't know about you, but that Trelane guy makes
me feel all tingly inside."
"He's dead, Jim. Dead sexy."
"Computer, calculate the ratio of Ensign Chekov's boyish charm to
yumminess."
"Request permission to dock, sir."
"What do you think Mr. Spock?"
"Fabulous, Captain. Simply fabulous."
"It's worse than that; he's limp, Jim."
"Beam me up, Scotty, there are no antiques stores down here."
"Earl Grey? Hot!!"
"Sure, it's an all-male crew. But Uhura looks great in drag, doesn't
he?"
"Set phasers to 'stunning'!"
"You could use some manscaping on that tribble you've got down there!"
"Tony Awards on forward screen, Mr. Sulu."
"Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a police officer! Besides, the Village
People already HAVE a cop!"
"All right, who's been running the gladiator program on the holodeck
again?"
"Orion slave girl, Orion slave guy -- who cares? I'm getting me some
green ass!"
"Sorry, ensign -- I didn't mean to go quite so boldly."
and the Number 1 Gay "Star Trek" Quote...
"Impressive, gentlemen, but that's not what I meant when I said I
needed to see Bones."
the closet last week. That warrants a closer look at some Trek
memories...
Gay "Star Trek" Quotes (R-rated)
"Ensign Chekov, now *that's* what I call a 'svollen wessel.'"
"He's a stud, Jim."
"Khaaaaaaaaaan! Your shoes don't match your belt!"
"Look! Look at me! I'm so in love with the dancing green alien woman
that I'm jumping up and down on the captain's chair!!"
"Now *that's* what I call a photon torpedo!"
"Pass the K-Y -- I'm going in the Jeffries Tube."
"Stop lying to me! I can tell you've been with the Andorian --
your lips are blue!"
"Sulu, direct all power to the front deflector shields. We will engage
from the rear."
"Don't let Spock fool you... that V sign ain't just for saying, 'Howdy
do!'"
"I wouldn't mind a stardate with that captain's log."
"I've set my phaser to 'tingle.'"
"Mr. Sulu! Pucker factor seven!"
"That Khan can breach my lower deck anytime!"
"Whatever you do, don't tell the captain you're gay. He'll make you
wear that damn red shirt!"
"Why, Mr. Chekov, I don't believe that *is* a phaser in your pocket!"
"You know, Chekov, I don't know about you, but that Trelane guy makes
me feel all tingly inside."
"He's dead, Jim. Dead sexy."
"Computer, calculate the ratio of Ensign Chekov's boyish charm to
yumminess."
"Request permission to dock, sir."
"What do you think Mr. Spock?"
"Fabulous, Captain. Simply fabulous."
"It's worse than that; he's limp, Jim."
"Beam me up, Scotty, there are no antiques stores down here."
"Earl Grey? Hot!!"
"Sure, it's an all-male crew. But Uhura looks great in drag, doesn't
he?"
"Set phasers to 'stunning'!"
"You could use some manscaping on that tribble you've got down there!"
"Tony Awards on forward screen, Mr. Sulu."
"Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a police officer! Besides, the Village
People already HAVE a cop!"
"All right, who's been running the gladiator program on the holodeck
again?"
"Orion slave girl, Orion slave guy -- who cares? I'm getting me some
green ass!"
"Sorry, ensign -- I didn't mean to go quite so boldly."
and the Number 1 Gay "Star Trek" Quote...
"Impressive, gentlemen, but that's not what I meant when I said I
needed to see Bones."